Thursday, November 11, 2010

Life Pyramid

Royalty-Free (RF) Clipart Illustration of a Childs Sketch Of Human Pyramid Of Kids - 1If you drew a "life" pyramid, and filled in the blanks....what would go where? Have you thought about this?
     health    career    respect    material things

Do you put your husband and your marriage before all things? or maybe your career is more important...?
I ask this question because I am having a really difficult time. I am very lucky - and fortunate, that my husband is a successful business owner. I was able to stop working for almost 9 months, to care for my son when he was born. (a dream) I appreciate that. I savor that time I had with my son. However, I am questioning if your work and career should be so important that it takes away from your marriage, and family. My husband has a difficult time with this. What order should things go? Should there BE order? My husband is a NEWlywed. A NEW business owner. A NEW father. A NEW homeowner.... A new everything. I am a "new" most of those things... I understand that work is important. Income is extremely necessary. He has to "support" the family. Make sure we are bringing in enough, and that he is taking care of us. Let me add - I do work as well. I work in the home and I can't call it a career by any means. I'm home with the kids, and I have an income that's less than half of his, but it is something - and it isn't "given" to me. I have stressful days working, as does he. He seems to make light of "my life". I know I don't own a business - nor do I aspire to. The problem is - in his little pyramid drawing - (in my head) it's career, kids,, marriage somewhere down here... This is a problem for me. It is our job as parents to take care of our children, but how can we take care of our children if we aren't taking care of "us" first? This is a very personal entry to me.... I am very emotional about this. I can't even "get into it all here". It goes so deep. I am really hurting inside... and I don't know where to go from here... Our family per say, is well taken care of. Our marriage....not so much. I'm really falling apart inside.... He's actually said he's not close to me. He's told me he "knows I'm fed up with him".... I don't know what to change. He doesn't know what to change. It's just sad, and nothing is well... He told me I should go "talk to somebody". Ummmm hello? How about "us" talking to someone....? That will never happen. I do plan on talking to my doctor again, who has already tried two prescriptions of antidepressants with me. He'd told me awhile ago about having post partum. I understand that - however - I cannot blame that, or say that's all it is. It completely isn't. .....and my apologies for a downer of a post.

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